At Church we have been doing a series called 'Into the Promise', and yesterday in the final talk we were looking at 2 Samuel 7 and the story of David and Bathsheba. A lady called Mel did an amazing talk and educated us as to the constructs that make up our brains. She said that we have a thinking part of our brain, which recognises consequences, and that when we make good decisions that part of our brain grows stronger to form a filter for what we process. We also have a feeling part to our brain which processes emotions and has no filter to it. The attraction centre is placed in the middle and can be regarded as our perception of our surroundings - forming a world-bestowed template for what is attractive - and throwing the positive messages in the direction of the feeling part of the brain. With a weak thinking muscle there is little resistance and so our brain just accelerates into disaster. This knowledge provides revelation when looking at the story of David and Bathsheba, as when David stopped using his 'thinking brain', and started purely being motivated by his feelings and attraction centre, it resulted in him making bad decisions and resulted in an affair and murder. However, when Nathan shared a story with David to reveal David’s sin, it engaged his 'thinking brain' and he made decisions differently from that moment onwards.
We were then encouraged to look at the sin in our own lives, and address what it is that we are struggling to break free from?
It was such a challenge to me especially at this time of year before the start of a new year to look internally and analyse what patterns of sin there are in my life, what is it that I do to numb the pain, stress, fear that I am feeling instead of turning to God? Through this post, I really wanted to encourage people to arrange to meet up with a close accountable friend, someone from the pastoral team or a mentor before Christmas and be challenged on ‘What your weakness is, and what it is that you are caught up in?
I personally define sin as anything that I turn to instead of turning to Christ. What is it that I go to when I want to numb any pain I am feeling instead of turning to Christ and Christian friends? That could be literally anything: alcohol, food, binge watching TV/ films, pornography/masturbation, affirmation from the opposite sex, gaming, exercise, shopping…it can be in so many different forms.
No sin is any worse than any other in Gods eyes, it is only culture that places a 'hierarchy of sin’ on us.
I was in a small group that prayed during the response time in Church yesterday, and we all saw such breakthrough through prayer by breaking off negative thought patterns and praying in a renewal of our minds, alongside speaking love and truth over each other. We have followed it up by immediately creating an accountability WhatsApp group to help motivate each other to keep pushing into freedom. Miriam Swaffield did a talk a few weeks ago and she challenged us to focus on 'how free can we be?', and see it as an exciting challenge and adventure as a result of the hope we have with Christ.
I have really challenged myself the last few years to push into living authentically, as prior to that I was so focused on the sin itself, that I silenced myself. I lived in shame and guilt, and as a result, I didn’t see much breakthrough in it long term, as I was trying to tackle the problem on my own. Satan loves to keep us trapped in sin through shame, but the moment I vocalised my 'pain number' to a trusted friend a few years ago, I prayed about it and it removed a large weight of shame, and the more times I have shared, more shame that has been broken off. Since then I have been able to operate from a place of hope, and daily pursue walking into the freedom that Christ has bought, instead of dwelling on the sin and living with shame and guilt.
It has not always been walking forwards, but in those times turning back to community has helped so much.
An accountability group is amazing for support but doesn't always help when the moment of temptation hits. So Mel gave us three steps to help us take action:
Close your eyes- looking feeds the attraction centre part of our brain. So whether that is a new top you've seen online which you believe will (momentarily) lift sadness, or you see a box of Krispy Kreme donuts you want to inhale, close your eyes and it will help to remove temptation.
Name it out loud- verbal processing engages the thinking brain. You could say to yourself that "Yes, there may be a deal on my favourite Rosé, however, I know that I am just feeling low and want to drink my worries away, so I am going to choose not to buy it. Instead, I am going to message my friend and ask to have some quality time together tonight to catch up, or go for a walk and chat to God, or put on some worship music and bring your pain, fears etc to God. If it was sexual temptation in a relationship, you could even say mid-kissing "actually I am feeling quite turned on right now, so let's stop and have a lovely evening making a new recipe you found together, or go on a walk and talk about your day". The moment you speak the temptation out loud, it will help you make a smarter decision. Especially in a relationship context, as it will engage both of your 'thinking brains', and encourage both of you to think about the decisions you are making.
Change direction- sin is about recognising you have done wrong, asking for forgiveness, and then walking in the opposite direction! So you could either literally walk in the opposite direction away from whatever temptation you are being drawn to, or distract yourself so that your brain focusses on something else. For example, you could do a Crossword/ Sudoku until the temptation wears off, and pray between answers. Use prayer as a means of distraction by being thankful and give Him praise! You could even thank him for how many hours, days or weeks it has been since you last acted upon temptation, and then after a few minutes when the temptation isn't as strong, ask Him to help with the temptation and provide increased mental strength to have self-control.
I would then encourage you after going through that process to let your accountable friend know, as then they can give you a reward of cheers and encouragement, but also help work out what was the trigger that led to feeling tempted. The WhatsApp group I am a part of is called ‘Free’ because we are reminding ourselves that we are already free, and now we are taking steps to live from that place in our actions (instead of just spiritually). Satan only has power if we give it to him. So let's all take a step of courage and be vulnerable with a close friend, as it is SO much better to risk 'worldly reputation' and take steps to seek freedom from sin permanently, than stay caught up in it and never grasp the freedom that is already ours! If we let shame dictate the decisions we make, then we are saying that Jesus’s act on the cross wasn’t enough to cover our sin.
My experience of being vulnerable and authentic with close trusted Christian friends has only ever lead to deeper friendship, richer community and an accountability buddy to help cheer me on and set me back on track if I ever get sidetracked. It can also often encourage others to be vulnerable too and share their struggles and past experiences in journeying through it. Also, the more we engage the 'thinking part' of our brains and make good decisions, the stronger it gets. So our brain actually rewards us for making smart decisions which is amazing!
None of us are perfect, we are all struggling with something, so let's work it through with God, and in community and see each other set free!
Much love, xox